Mirror Goals:
Brainwash yourself into an national champion wrestler
I had the fortune of going to watch the Division One NCAA Wrestling Championships at Madison Square Garden a few weeks ago. The quality of the wrestling was amazing, but I was also inspired by and especially curious about the mentality of these wrestlers. What type of attitude is required to not only survive in a division one wrestling room, but to thrive and be one of the best college wrestlers in the country? What is the mindset of a national champion and how is it different than the rest of the wrestlers in their weight class? Perhaps most importantly, how do these wrestlers develop and refine their mentality so a positive mindset becomes second nature? With these questions in mind, I was very excited to watch the post match press conferences with the 10 NCAA Champions. While all of the champions shared insights into their mental preparation, no one was more interesting to me than Nico Megaludis.
Nico Megaludis was the 125 lbs national champion for Penn State. Nico was a senior and had managed to finally win the national title that had alluded him up until this year. Nico finished second at nationals his true freshman year, second again his sophomore year, and then third as a junior. Like me, Nico had lost twice in the national finals, and so I could at least somewhat know how badly he wanted to win this year. He talked about his hunger in his press conference and that it affected his mindset.
He said he knew going into the season that he was going to win and that he wrote down ‘I am the national champion’ in his room, in his bathroom, and in his car. He looked at that message every day and used it as a tool to train his mind. His story shows just how far he was willing to go to make sure his goal never left his mind, and I believe that his willingness to write those messages helps explain why he rose about the field and won the national championship.
In writing those notes to himself and putting them places he sees every day, like his steering wheel, Nico did something that most people would think is crazy, but that is very familiar for the most successful wrestlers. In fact, I remember being told to do the same thing the first year I attended wrestling camp; I was told to write down my goals and put them up in my room and in my bathroom so I would look at them every day. When I heard Nico’s story, I remembered the mirror goals that I wrote down way back in sophomore year of high school, and how those goals motivated me for the next three years. I remembered how when I got to college I made a new set of mirror goals, and how they too inspired me for the four years of my college wrestling career. Nico’s story made me think about how important those goals were to my wrestling success, and how being constantly reminded of the view from the top of the podium — of why you put yourself through so much adversity — reignites the flame of inspiration that every wrestler needs to embrace the grind. I thought about how that flame had guided me through my wrestling career, and how I’ve been missing that same singularity of focus since entering the real world and having so many different responsibilities. When I heard Nico’s story, I became determined to find my new mirror goal and make sure I, too, saw it everywhere and that it would inspire me to bring out my best self. Before I tell you what that goal is, I first want to explain why I am passionate about the importance of this concept by sharing more about my original mirror goal and the transformative effect it had on me.
I first learned about the mirror goal concept at wrestling camp the summer after my freshman year of high school. I remember being told that I should write down my goals and put them up somewhere I would see them everyday, like my bathroom mirror. This concept was completely new to me; I had never even been told before that I should set specific goals, let alone look at them everyday. The idea must have stuck though, because before my sophomore wrestling season I wrote down five goals on a piece of paper and hung them up in my room where I could see them every day. Even that first day I felt something powerful about seeing my goals written down, that they were now more permanent and that I would be committed to them–whatever that meant. My goals were personal, written for my eyes only because to share them would have been embarrassing. They were there in the morning when I woke up and at night when I went to sleep.
I worked towards those goals for the next three years. I achieved one of those goals my sophomore year, and I remember the thrill of coming home and checking off that box. I achieved two of those goals my junior year, and the last two my senior year. I remember clearly the feeling of relief and completion when I checked off the last goal the night my final wrestling season ended. Just writing about it now makes my stomach swirl. I still have that piece of paper hanging in my room, reminding me of the power of goal setting.
Most people never set goals, and most people who do set goals don’t look at them every day. Yet there is something so powerful about reminding yourself every morning and every night when you look in the mirror about what it is you are working towards. Seeing your goals constantly ingrains them into your being, until after a while they just become a part of you. That’s what Nico Megaludis said: that he brainwashed himself into becoming the national champion. There is something abnormal about that, something that scares most people. Maybe I’m wired differently, but that inspires me. I heard somewhere that to be extraordinary you have to the extra things that normal people don’t. Maybe making mirror goals is one of those things. I did those extra things in wrestling because I wanted to be an extraordinary wrestler, but since my career ended I’ve been looking for ways to translate that mindset into life beyond the mat. What I didn’t realize though is the answer was staring at me the whole time–it was waiting for me in the mirror.
I’ve been thinking for several months now about what my mirror goal should be. What I’ve concluded is that I feel blessed to have had mentors, teachers, and coaches who believed in me and helped me discover that I was capable of more. My high school wrestling coaches helped me believe that I could go from an 88 pound freshman to New England Champion, and once I believed I could be a champion wrestler, I believed anything was possible. What I want most is to help other people discover the same thing–that they are capable of more than they thought they were. I believe a mirror goal can help me achieve that dream by motivating me to inspire and motivate others. The mentors who have made the biggest impact on my life were always people who inspired me, and what inspired me about them was their lifestyles. I saw the way they lived their lives, and I wanted to be like them. So if I want to have that same impact on other people, then I need to lead a life that is inspiring.
The way to be inspiring is to live outside your comfort zone, to do things in spite of being scared and in spite of the voice in the back of your head. When people see someone doing something that looks especially difficult, they are inspired. I know I certainly was when I met wrestling coaches who had won national and international championships. I was inspired when I met teachers who made their own biodiesel fuel to use in their car or who started companies to provide clean energy to developing world. People who lean into challenges are inspiring, and that is what I want to do. My mirror goal then is to, as Seth Godin says, “conquer the resistance”–to find opportunities every day to step outside my comfort zone and lean into something difficult. I want to get in the habit of being uncomfortable, because I know it will make me grow as a person and help me inspire others.
Once I realized what my mirror goal was, I thought about how I can ensure that I am actually walking the walk and not just saying that I am living outside my comfort zone. This is where writing this blog came up. Seth Godin said that one of the best things you can do is write daily, and I completely agree with him. First off all, writing is itself an outside the comfort zone activity, because writing is incredibly personal and sharing that writing online means accepting that people will judge you (negatively) and say mean things about it. Second, writing is thinking, and practicing writing regularly will make me a better thinker. Lastly, writing is a scalable way to share ideas, and if you want to inspire people to discover they are capable of more than you need to be vocal about it. So that’s how I find myself writing this piece and leveraging our friendship to start this blog.
Because writing is so scary, I knew I needed the support of friends to find the courage to finally start blogging regularly, something I’ve wanted to do for at least three years now. When you told me that you wanted to start a blog too, I knew we could leverage our combined desires to overcome our fears and finally take action. That’s the idea behind Positive Peer Pressure: that we can use the power of friendship to cut through our excuses and inaction; that we can write with just the other person in mind because it’s less scary that thinking about a larger audience; and that as long as I know my piece is useful to you than I know it’s useful enough to publish. While I do hope that a larger audience finds our content useful, I’m only writing with you, michael saminsky, in mind because as your friend I want to share ideas with you get you excited and inspired. And if other people get inspired and excited too, and if they find value in this blog, then that’s great! My focus though will be writing about things I find interesting in a way that gets you interested in them. That’s why I am starting this blog.
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